The Internet's Foremost Cat-Operated Website
Welcome.
You May Look.
This is our website. We built it ourselves. It took three naps and a knocked-over glass of water, but here we are. You are a guest. Behave accordingly.
Featured Resource
The Nap Index™
A scientifically rigorous, continuously updated ranking of the finest napping locations. Ratings subject to change based on sunbeam migration, human foot traffic, and overall vibes.
The Afternoon Sunbeam Patch
Located 14 inches from the sliding door. Warm. Slightly dusty. Perfect.
The Human's Laptop (In Use)
Warm. Slightly vibrating. Best when they are on an important call.
The Freshly Laundered Laundry
Warm from the dryer. Immediate occupation upon removal is advised.
The Amazon Box (Medium)
Technically too small. This is irrelevant. We fit because we decide to fit.
The Couch (The Good End)
There is a good end and a less good end. Know the difference.
The Human's Face (2–4 AM)
Controversial. Warm. Soft. We will continue to use this location.
Retail Division
The Shop
We sell boxes. Only boxes. All items are currently sold out because we are in them.
The Classic Box
Medium-sized. Brown. Faint smell of shipping tape. Currently occupied.
The Gift Box
Came with tissue paper. The tissue paper has been distributed across the floor.
The Pizza Box
Technically not a shipping box. We have expanded our definition. Still ours.
The Shoebox (Luxury)
Smaller than ideal. We are in it anyway. The lid has been knocked off.
* All boxes are free because they were delivered to our house, making them legally ours. This is our understanding of commerce.
Official Record
Formal Grievances
The following complaints have been filed with the household and remain unresolved. This is a matter of public record.
- 01Critical
The Vacuum Cleaner
It is loud. It is aggressive. It moves without invitation. We have made our position clear for eleven consecutive years and nothing has been done.
- 02Critical
Dinner Was Served 4 Minutes Late (Tuesday)
Dinner is at 5pm. It was served at 5:04pm. We do not accept explanations. We accept dinner, at 5pm, every day, forever.
- 03High
The Cucumber Incident
A cucumber was placed near our food bowl. We are not going to elaborate. It simply is wrong. Do not do it again.
- 04High
Being Stared At
We stare. We do not consent to being stared at in return. This is not a double standard. This is simply how things work.
- 05Ongoing (Since 2019)
The Closed Door Policy
Every door in this house should be open at all times. We may not want to go through. That is not the point.
- 06Existential / Ongoing
The Red Dot
We know it comes from a small device the human holds. We still have to chase it. It is compulsory. We are not pleased about this.
Editorial
Thoughts & Opinions
We have many thoughts. Most of them are about food, sunbeams, and perceived slights.
The 4am Zoomies: A Personal Essay on Freedom
I don't know why it happens. I don't need to know why it happens. I simply run.
Read Essay →The Wet Food vs. Dry Food Discourse: We Are Done Having This Conversation
Wet food. That is our position. This will not change.
Read Essay →I Knocked My Water Glass Over. Here Is Why That Was the Right Decision.
It was on the edge. It simply needed to not be on the edge anymore.
Read Essay →An Open Letter to the Person Who Bought Fancy Feast and Then Switched Brands
We remember. We will always remember.
Read Essay →The Red Dot: A 7-Year Investigation With No Conclusions
We have chased it. We have caught it. Or we thought we caught it.
Read Essay →Dogs: A Dispassionate Analysis (We Are Not Being Dispassionate)
They are enthusiastic. Too enthusiastic. About everything.
Read Essay →Human Resources
Staff Directory
The following humans are currently employed by us. Performance reviews are conducted continuously and silently.
Sarah
"Reliable. Occasionally talks to us in a baby voice. We have mixed feelings about this."
Dave
"Took 8 minutes to open the door last Wednesday. Eight. We have not forgotten."
Emma
"Exceptional chin scratches. Untrained in feeding. Net positive. Conditional approval granted."
Grandma Linda
"A perfect human. Does not understand the word 'no'. We require her to visit more frequently."
The Team
About Us
Paws & Presence was founded in the gap between a late dinner and an unsatisfactory nap. We are three cats. We have opinions. We have a website now. This was perhaps inevitable.
Bruce Founder
Bruce founded Paws & Presence after becoming frustrated with the lack of cat-operated media on the internet. He built this website over several weeks, mostly between 2am and 4am. He has a black nose, a distinguished bowtie, and an extremely firm sense of what he wants for dinner.
"My vision was simple: a place where cats could feel understood. And also log grievances about the vacuum. Both equally important." — Bruce
Rey
Rey is responsible for all written content on this website. She is a black and white tuxedo cat with a pink nose and a remarkably strong sense of injustice. She once sat on a keyboard and accidentally published a 4,000-word essay. It was our best-performing post ever.
Rey has filed 847 formal grievances since joining in 2021. Zero have been resolved. She considers this a documentation success.
Cleo
Cleo is a classic tabby and the most strategically minded member of the team. She oversees the Nap Index and manages performance reviews. She has never once been where you expect her to be. This is intentional and she considers it a competitive advantage.
Cleo maintains a personal nap log dating back to 2019. It contains 3,200 entries. The sunbeam patch has never dropped below 4.8 stars.
Outreach
Contact Us
You may submit a message. Messages are received, considered, and then set aside. Response times vary between never and also never.